I can remember specifically sitting in David's recliner during a summer break when JD and Hannah were very young. I sat listening to them play outside in the backyard. It was then that I first counted up to figure out that 2015 would be a hard year for me. Of course the reason I thought it was going to be hard was because JD would be graduating and leaving for college. Little did I know, God's plan was already in place for him not only to graduate but to gain his eternal life. Needless to say, when looking back on this memory, the word sad doesn't begin to cover my emotions of 2015. I have experienced feelings of regret, frustration, despair, helplessness, panic, and grief. However, in the midst of all the negative emotions of this year God has been right there. He has listened to every word I have spoken to Him through all of my unpleasant thoughts. He has turned my emotions into feelings of understanding, joy, peace, comfort, and acceptance. He never ceases to amaze me when I feel like I can not take another step, He carries me right to where I need to be in that moment. Most of the time, He guides me to His word where I can take refuge. Sometimes he uses you all to remind me that He is using JD still to further His Kingdom. I love every "glimpse" you share with me. And recently He has used my own thought to show me that He indeed is always right beside me, and He will never leave me. I have been very hesitant to tell this story, even with the encouragement of David, Hannah and a few of my closest friends. Today, I feel led to share with you. While we were on our cruise I made the comment that I wanted to cut one of JD's bracelets and throw it into the ocean. In my mind, I was thinking that like the movie Message in a Bottle, someone would find it. But unlike the movie, they would see the words "God's Got Me" and maybe come to know Jesus. David told me to go ahead, but I had forgotten to bring an extra one. I did not want to give up mine. JD's uncle Steven said I could use his, because he had more in his room. We took the bracelet, cut it and went on deck to pray and throw it. The first time it landed 2 floors below us. David went down to get the bracelet to bring it back. We again said a prayer, I threw the bracelet over the railing. We waited and looked, but we did not see the bracelet. Believing that it had found its place in the ocean, Hannah and I went to our cabin to take a nap. Hannah woke up and went to sit on our balcony. I heard her say, "There is a broken bracelet on our balcony." Never once did it cross my mind that it would be JD's bracelet! I got up to look, and there it was; JD's bracelet had landed on OUR balcony and had been there for two hours while Hannah and I napped. I believe that "through Christ ALL things are possible". I believe God reminded me again on that day that he does have my child. And I believe that although 2015 has been a year of many emotions, my God continues to comfort me. I also believe that because of God's plan for our lives in 2015 that we can endure anything in the coming years and look upon them as His blessings. May you all be blessed with God's presence throughout this new year and years to come. It is my desire to see each and every one of you living eternally with Him. He is coming back. He keeps His promises.
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GLIMPSES OF JD: Tomorrow is our first Christmas Eve without JD, and I will not be near a computer. Again, I would like to thank everyone for their cards, texts, calls, and prayers. Today trending on Twitter is #2015 taught me...., I can fill in that blank easily. 2015 has taught me that what I have read and heard is true. "You can see Jesus in the actions of others." I want people to see Jesus in me.
Hold on I have to take a side road just for a moment. Don't tell my students, because I teach them to "stay on track" when they are writing. Romans 8:28 is my "go to" verse. It says, "And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose." I do see His good. Friday morning on my way to school I was frazzled. I had to leave early, because I had used all of my wrapping paper. I still had student gifts to wrap. I left the house crying, and this was my prayer: God, please show me a glimpse of my baby. I need to see him. After a thought, I continued with; I know You can't do this God. I will have to wait. I rode some more, and I then said; Yes, You can You are God. You can do anything. I preceded to go thru McDonald's drive thru where I saw my first glimpse; a red Mustang with JD's signature on it! I thanked God and continued throughout my day with several glimpses of my child. These all came from other people who did not know of my prayer, except for one person who sent me the quote, "When you believe beyond what your eyes can't see, signs from Heaven show up to remind you that love never dies." This is where I come back to seeing Jesus in others. I believe God chose to answer my prayer by using these people to show me that He is with me and will never leave me; just as He promises. I thank Him for that promise and all the others He has kept. If you're reading this, and you don't know my God; it is my prayer today that you find a way to know Him. He is what this season is about. He sent His Son to die so that we may live! As I leave you, I'm leaving you with Merry Christmas wishes. Chrisine Paul, I believe JD truly offered the best he had on his ride, but his astounding impact was made when his journey ended, just the way God had in mind.
Chrisine: Thank you so much, Beth Clary for sharing. What a beautiful way to look at this ride, we call life. I thank God for His love, my family, and my precious friends; like you that lift my spirits. "It is through the kindness of others that we see the face of Jesus." Please keep praying for everyone who is grieving something or someone during this season of joy. I pray that everyone can find peace in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. "He's the reason for the season". Merry Christmas!
One of our baby's dreams came true tonight. His name is on a Louisville Slugger. Thank you, Michael Kirkland and Calvary Baptist Brotherhood. We love our church family! Romans 12:10 "Love one another with brotherly affection."
When I count my blessings, I count you more than once! I love you, David Paul!
I know that "officially" it's not your birthday until tomorrow, but at 9:35, 17 years ago you wanted to "grace" us with your appearance. You did exactly that at 6:27 am on December 3rd, and our world was changed for the better. You amaze me every day. You have taught me so much about being an overcomer. When I hear the quote, " Although she is tossed by the waves, she will not sink. She knows her Lifeguard walks on water." I think of you. Happy Birthday to my very best friend, my daughter. I love you to the moon, Hannah Grace Paul!
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